


Chara Chaos

by FaeriMagic



Category: Shugo Chara!
Genre: Gen, Old work, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 07:50:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11353068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeriMagic/pseuds/FaeriMagic
Summary: A very dumb play.





	Chara Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> See if you find references to the following stories: Snow White, Cinderella, The Three Little Pigs, Rumplestiltskin, Arabian Nights.
> 
> This script was originally typed in a T1-84 Plus Silver Edition Texas Instrument. In other words, it was written on a calculator. Also, it was written around 2009-2010 so the quality is SUPER BAD.
> 
> The only reason I'm uploading it is because the fact that it's so bad makes me smile. Ah, young!Faeri, you were so pure and dumb. 
> 
> I don't even remember much from Shugo Chara any more, what is this Humpty Dumpty reference I have no idea all I remember are that there are eggs inside of children that people are trying to steal wut.
> 
> There's so many problems in this, but please enjoy this stupid story, lol.

Characters: (In order of appearance, * denotes major role)

Ran (Narrator) *

Miki (Narrator) *

Su (Narrator) *

Amu (Princess) *

Utau (Fairy Godmother) *

Ikuto (Mr. Werecat) *

Yoru (Himself) 

Lord Easter (Played by the actual head of the Easter company, or the Principal of the School who got dragged into the play)

Tadase (Prince Hotohori)

Kairi (Himself)

Nagehiko (Himself)

Rima (Herself)

Kusukusu (Herself)

Musashi (Himself)

Kiseki (Himself)

Rhythm (Himself)

Yaya (Herself)

Pepe (Herself)

 

* * *

 

Ran: This is a tale of woe.

Miki: It would do you good to not pay attention.

Su: Because it will strike sadness into you heart, okay?

 

Ran: One day, a princess went into the forest. 

Amu: Hey, why am I the princess?

Ran: She played with a special ball called the Humpty Ball. She played it so well, all the animals came to watch her.

Amu: Heart Speed Kick! Red Hot Dash!

Miki: She played as she walked through the forest, until she came across a picturesque cottage. 

Amu: Those bright colors, oh how I want to paint it.

Ran: Unfortunately, she had no painting stuff with her so she had to make do with playing her ball.

Miki: [ _ glares _ ] Until she kicked it so high it got stuck in the chimney!

Ran: [ _ pouts _ ]

Amu: Aw, man!

Su: The princess knocked on the door, okay? And it was answered by a--

Utau: A fairy godmother.

Amu: Utau’s my fairy godmother?! [ _ enters bliss _ ] 

Utau: Who are you?

Amu: [ _ enters depression _ ]

Ran: [ _ whispers _ ] Amu, get a grip!

Amu: Right. [ _ turns towards Utau _ ] I am Princess Amu.

Utau: And what does your highness want from me?

Amu: Well, I kicked my ball into your chimney.

Utau: I didn’t know a princess could be so reckless.

Amu: ...Reckless?

Utau: Is this the ball you were talking about? [ _ holds up ball _ ] 

Amu: Yes, that’s the one, thank-- [ _ reaches for ball _ ]

Utau: [ _ moves ball out of Amu’s reach _ ] 

Amu: …You?

Utau: You are so naive. Have you any idea what this is?

Amu: It’s my Humpty Ball.

Utau: …

Amu: …

Utau: Is that it?

Amu: Well, yeah.

 

Miki: By the way, the ball was given by Prince Hotohori, for their betrothal.

Amu: MIKIIII!!! O///O

 

Back to the story...

 

Utau: You really are dumb, aren’t you? I have been searching forever for this.

Amu: It’s just a crystal ball.

Utau: You idiot! It’s not a ball, but a stone that contains an immense power.

Amu: Really? [ _ starts whamming the ball onto the ground in hopes of breaking it _ ]

Utau: You stupid creature! Only the Dumpty Sword can shatter it!

Amu: Aw, man!

Utau: [ _ snatches ball _ ] And that’s why I need this.

Amu: Hey! That’s mine!

Utau: Whatever.

Amu: Give it back!

Utau: No.

Amu: Why??

Utau: I need it.

Amu: What for?

Utau: None of your business. Now leave before my brother comes home. 

 

[ _ door opens _ ]

 

Utau: Onee-tan!~ [ _ hugs Ikuto _ ]

Ikuto: ...Get off me.

Utau: Why? I missed you so much!

Ikuto: I just went out to get a bite, I wasn’t out that long.

Utau: But every second we’re apart makes me want to cry!

Ikuto: T_T

Amu: W-w-wolf!!

 

Yoru: Werecat! Make him a werecat!

Su: Fine, he’s a werecat, okay?

 

REWINDING...

 

Amu: W-w-werecat!!

Ikuto: [ _ smiles _ ] Who’s the juicy morsel?

Utau: [ _ frowns _ ] I thought I told you to beat it.

Amu: Not without my ball!

Ikuto: Ball? [ _ glances around _ ] Is that...?

Utau: Yes, the Humpty Ball! I stole it just for you, onee-tan!

Ikuto: ...You stole it? 

Utau: Of course, I’d do anything for you, onee-tan!

Ikuto: ... [ _ takes ball and gives it to Amu _ ] Here.

Amu: Oh, uh, thank you Mister Werecat...

Utau: Eh?? But onee-tan...why??

Ikuto: [ _ pulls out sword and strikes downwards onto the ball, causing bright lights to appear _ ]

Amu: [ _ stares in wonder as she tries to hold onto the ball _ ]

 

[ _ ball gets a crack _ ]

 

Amu: [ _ sees stars _ ] No, stop!!

 

[ _ sword is repelled, and crack in the ball disappears _ ]

Amu: ....What...was that...?

Ikuto: ... I’ve decided not to eat you. [ _ leaves _ ]

 

Utau: I HATE YOU!!

Amu: Eh?

Utau: If only onee-tan shattered the ball, all our troubles would be over! [ _ cries _ ]

Amu: You don’t look like the type of girl with troubles.

Utau: [ _ aura of menace appears _ ] Looks can be deceiving.

 

WE NOW VEER OFF OF AMU’S STORY AND INTO UTAU’S.

 

Utau: Besides having my love for onee-tan constantly being rejected, I have other problems. Onee-tan and I serve directly and unwillingly under Lord Easter. Our lord is constantly seeking the legendary wish-granting treasure, the Embryo. As his henchmen, we are to assist him. Because I am female, he assumes that I am not powerful, and relies on my brother more often instead. I wanted the Humpty Ball to shatter so I could stop Lord Easter and take back my brother before he is killed in the process of finding this Embryo.

 

Utau: So now you know.

Amu: That’s...that’s very interesting.

Utau: You didn’t hear a single word I said, didn’t you?

Amu: Sure, I did!

Utau: Then what did I say?

Amu: ... 

Utau: You know what? Just leave. [ _ pushes Amu outside _ ]

Amu: ...Your brother is under spell.

 

[ _ silence _ ]

 

Amu: I can break it for you.

Utau: ...You can?

Amu: I can try. Where does Lord Easter live?

Utau: Next door. Oh, thanks, Princess. You’re a good...[ _ swallows disdainfully _ ] ...friend. [ _ quickly closes the door _ ]

 

Amu: ...What way to move the story along. 

 

LATER...

 

[ _ Amu knocks on the door, door opens _ ]

Amu: Hello, my name is Princess Amu.

[ _ door slams _ ]

 

Amu: It isn’t nice to slam doors in people’s faces.

[ _ door slams _ ]

 

Amu: Excuse me, I need some help.

[ _ door slams _ ]

 

Amu: I KNOW WHERE THE EMBRYO IS!

Lord Easter: Well, why didn’t you say so? Come in, come in.

[ _ they sit down on chairs _ ] 

Lord Easter: So tell me where the Embryo is. 

Amu: First, tell me how to break Mr. Werecat’s spell.

Lord Easter: The Embryo first.

Amu: I-I don’t know...

Lord Easter: So you don’t know where it is?

Amu: No

Lord Easter: You lied to me. 

Amu: Yes, I’m sorry!

Lord Easter: Very well, I shall tell you how to break the werecat’s spell.

Amu: Really?

Lord Easter: All you need to do is to say his name in front of him.

Amu: That’s it?

Lord Easter: Yes. Only a human can do the undoing spell. We don't get a lot of humans in these parts (they all get eaten or killed by the werecat...), which explains why he’s still in that form.

Amu: Thank you very much, Lord Easter, even though I lied to you. 

Lord Easter: Yes, yes, goodbye. [ _ smiles until Amu leaves, then roars in rage because he was lied to _ ]

 

LATER...

 

Amu: What’s your name?

Ikuto: Guess.

Amu: Neko?

Ikuto: Wrong.

Amu: Burakku?

Ikuto: Wrong.

Amu: Utau?

Ikuto: Do I look like a girl to you?

Amu: A little bit.

Ikuto: ...

 

1001 NAMES LATER...

 

Amu: ...Rumplestiltskin?

Ikuto: Wrong.

Amu: ...Prince Charming?

Ikuto: Try again.

Amu: Think...think...

Ikuto: Right!

Amu: Really?!

Ikuto: Yeah! No.

Amu: Stop messing with me, Ikuto!

Ikuto: ...

Amu: Ikuto! That’s your name, right?

Ikuto: The next time I heard my name...I was...supposed to kill myself. [ _ raises sword _ ]

Amu: What?! Why?

Ikuto: It is...my curse... [ _ stabs himself and falls down _ ]

Amu: Ikuto, Ikuto! Oh, no what have I done? Ikuto, please, don’t die....don’t die... [ _ cries _ ]

 

Su: Oh, the woe! [ _ cries _ ]

Ran: There, there, Su, it’s only a story.

Miki: Or is it?

 

Ikuto: ...

Amu: [ _ continues crying _ ]

Ikuto: Hey, you’re supposed to give me my life-giving kiss right now.

Amu: You’re still alive?

Ikuto: Uh...yeah.

Amu: [ _ punches Ikuto _ ] You idiot! I cried for nothing?!

Ikuto: Yep. It was still nice, though.

Amu: [ _ angry and embarrassed, it makes your face doubly red _ ] Augh, you make me sick!

Ikuto: Sick with love?

Amu: No, sick with repulsion!!

 

Ran: ...The play has officially been ruined.

Miki: Obviously.

 

Utau: Ikuto! Stop hanging over Amu all the time! Save some of your love for me!

Ikuto: No. Amu’s the only love for me.

Utau: NOOOO!

Tadase: [ _ in character change _ ] You’ll have to fight me to the death if you want to win Princess Amu’s love, commoner! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

Amu: What?? Not this again!

Kairi: What are they doing?

Nagehiko: ...Fighting over Amu...

Kairi: Then I... [ _ character change _ ] must join!

 

AFTER 30 MINUTES OF “DUELING”.

 

Tadase: HAHAHAHAH, I got Boardwalk and Park Place! Bask in my victory, commoners!

Kairi: And yet, you have little money to upgrade them, as you constantly visit my Oriental and Washington Avenue.

Ikuto: [ _ throws down his large wad of money _ ] This is boring.

Amu: ...They’re fighting over me by using Monopoly? 

Rima: What can I say, except boys are stupid.

Nagehiko: Umm, I’m also a boy.

Rima: Well you have long hair, so you’re less of a boy than those three over there.

Nagehiko: [ _ shock _ ] Less of a...boy?

Amu: [ _ panics _ ] That was supposed to be a compliment, right, Rima?

Rima: No, it was an insult.

Kusukusu: HEEEHHEE HEEEEHEHE!

Nagehiko: [ _ continues to die _ ] 

Rhythm: Ah! Nagi’s soul!

Nagehiko’s soul: I see a glorious light...

 

[ _ Ran, Miki, and Su cheer on the threesome who are cheering on the threesome _ ]

 

Ran: Go Go, MU- SA-SHI!

Musashi: Can you please quiet down?

Miki: I know you can do it, Kiseki!

Kiseki: Of course, my loyal subject!

Su: Come on, Yoru, get excited!

Yoru: If Ikuto isn’t interested, I’m not. Now goodbye, I need a catnap.

Amu: ...For some reason...I feel abandoned.

Rima: Isn’t Nadeshiko your best friend? What a lame friend she is if she’s not in your time of need. But I am here, Amu. There there, everything will be alright.

Amu: Thank you, Rima.

Nagehiko’s Soul: The light beckons me...

Rhythm: Oh, the woe...

Utau: Woe, indeed.

 

[ _ The play ends with the only audience, Yaya, laughing her head off _ ]

 

Pepe: How boring-dechu.


End file.
